My name is Anna Hern. I am your average 27 year old workout junkie. I’ve been swimming and running more than half my life, so it was really no surprise to anyone that I began racing everything from 5Ks to ultramarathons and triathlons. I am new to triathlon, this being only my second season and my first season of actually training for specific races. I met John Robertson, my coach and future husband, last December. He helped convince me that I could complete an iron-distance race this coming September. And so the intense training began. Â
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In March 2007, I had my annual physical exam. Upon routine palpation of my neck, she found a nodule, small but solid. She believed it to be highly suspicious (i.e. cancerous) and made that quite clear to me. Remember, I was in the mindset that I was 26 and bulletproof. I’m getting stronger in my athletics, I’ve got my dream job, and I met the man I plan to marry.  I have no time for cancer, nor could that possibly happen to me – I’m too healthy and too strong. No way, not me. Period. Â
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John and I prepared to meet with an ENT, although I was not happy with this – I don’t like being the patient. This was only one week before John was to complete the Arizona Ironman and I was to run the Boston Marathon. The doctor suggested I have an ultrasound guided biopsy immediately – I scheduled it for the day I returned to Texas from Boston. The techs, doctors, and nurses were all very positive and friendly. I wasn’t scared. There was a 95% chance this nodule was nothing and would not further interfere with my life. You cannot find those odds in Vegas! I had to lie and wait for the pathologist to see if the biopsy had gathered enough tissue. For the first time, it crept into my head that I could be sick - a strange, symptom-less, illness. It
was a fleeting thought. However, I thought the doctor and tech were treating me a little differently since they returned to the room. You see, they also already knew the results – but I had to wait to hear it from my ENT on my follow-up appointment which was the coming Monday. Now we just had to wait 5 days and this whole ordeal would be over. Â
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Thursday, just a day after the biopsy, I was thirsty for a run – of course that was against doctor’s advice, but as previously stated I’m not a good patient. With headphones on and walking out the door my phone rang…Dr. Weber, my ENT. Why was he calling me at 1730? Cancer. You have thyroid cancer. Not me, how is this real? No, it can’t be. Â
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After the initial shock wore off, I went into an intense state of denial. It never really did seem real to me. I went about my day and every now and then I’d be doubled over with the fact that I have cancer. I’d quickly push the thought from my head and move on with my day. I still seemed to be bulletproof until I got the phone call that John had been riding his bicycle and been hit by a motorcycle. He’d broken 5 bones in his left shoulder and was in a San Antonio hospital. It was in that hospital that the questions began. Why was this happening? Was it not bad enough that I had just been diagnosed with cancer? I was losing my mind. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t focus. I refused to leave the hospital while he was there – I stayed there without sleeping or eating. That hospital was the first time I was forced to deal with the fact that I did in fact have cancer – I had to finally face my own mortality. I had written out a will, power of attorney, and even jotted down some goodbye letters, just in case…. Those were some very dark days for me in that hospital. People couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t leave him and go sleep in a real bed, but I somehow felt if I was there everything would be okay. If I left, I thought I would lose him. I was terrified of losing him. To this point it was easy – I was the sick one and
I am way too stubborn to let cancer kill me. But now I was no longer in control, John was the sick one, not me. Those individuals closest to us, realized I was really the one who needed help and support, not John – bones would heal. I fought that and yelled at people that he was the one in jeopardy, not me. Now I realize how right they all were. I had been blinded by my own love for him. Yet John was still just as worried about me. For the first time in my life someone loved me just as much as I loved him.
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As we got John put back together, my surgery was looming. John actually had his surgery (to repair his clavicle) scheduled the just three days before my surgery. I did not want to have my surgery – I didn’t need it. The pathologist was mistaken – there was no cancer in my thyroid. This surgery was a mistake. However, my surgery did come, and the cancer had completely taken over my thyroid and lymph nodes and even managed to enter my neck muscle.  I was completely helpless; luckily I had many friends and family by my side. John was on the mend and still in a fair amount of pain, so between the two of us we were pretty pathetic! While John and I weren’t able to do much in the way of physical activity, we made plans to return to triathlon. It gave us both something to look forward too. All the days of pain, doctors’ appointments, and being poked and prodded was tucked away in my mind for the next race.  If I could survive cancer I could definitely survive a triathlon. Â
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I still have to continue with routine scans and I think I will always have some anxiety associated with the possibility of the cancer returning.  Also, I am still hypothyroid which prevents me from returning to work (I’m a corporate pilot and the FAA requires me to be completely regulated before I can be issued a medical certificate again) which is extremely frustrating. But everyday I am thankful that I have been given another chance at life. I have met some amazing people through this bizarre chapter of my life. And even through all John and I have been through, 2007 has still been the best year of my life….so far. |
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